On giving up control

Photo from CRUMBS Bake Shop’s Website

Those of you that know me personally, know that I like to be… on top of things.  I like some semblance of order, I like to be prepared for whatever comes, and I like to feel like I’m in the driver’s seat.  (Hey-o maybe that’s why I’m so much happier on the boss management side of theater than I was as a performer; too much is out of your hands when you’re not the one writing checks.)  Anyhow, the events of the past week have been a huge wake up call.  Oh hello, you mean I can’t avoid earthquakes by living on the east coast?  It’s possible that the WEATHER can completely shut down my only reliable form of transportation (heyyy MTA)?

Rude awakening.  I’ve blogged about being flexible before,  and I think I’m pretty good about adapting and adjusting to whatever life throws at me (which makes me feel even more in control, since obViously I am a defensive driver and have tactics B, C, D & E in my toolbox to avoid that tree branch in the road), but this summer and the events of this week have really thrown me for a loop.

As it turns out, sometimes no matter how prepared you are, no matter how much you do the right things, no matter how hard you work, or how strategically you plan, things will go awry.  A hurricane will devastate parts of the Northeast.  A client will reject your proposal.  The market will tank.  Someone will not love you back.  It’s ok.  You dust yourself off, look at the battered pieces and figure out what to do with them.  You can’t blame yourself, or wonder what you might have done differently.  You have to look forward and focus on what you have to do next time.  Moving forward.  Right now.  Some of what’s coming is still going to be out of your control, so you just have to do your best in this moment with what you have.

Sometimes that means making really weird breakfasts and buying lunches out when there’s just no food in the apartment because you couldn’t go to the grocery store over the weekend in the only free time you had because it was closed (thanks Irene).  Sometimes it means focusing on the things you can exercise complete control over (hello schoolwork), because you’re just not ready to deal with the things that are beyond your jurisdiction.

Today it means I’m getting a cupcake. With sprinkles.

What do you do when things go haywire?

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I'm Aubrie - nonprofit professional / triathlete / adventurer / blogger / seeker of collaborative opportunities for good. Irreverent with good intentions.

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